English reading 008

The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted (Without Feeling Guilty!)

by Damon Zahariades

Some points I like:

1. If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will. — Greg McKeown
2. A ‘no’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble. — Mahatma Gandhi
3. The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.” — Warren Buffett
4. Being assertive means having the self-confidence to express your needs and wants, and pursue your own ends, even in the face of opposition. It involves telling people where you stand on a given topic and leaving no room for confusion.
5. Assertiveness is declaring your point of view and not feeling as if you need others’ approval or validation.
6. We have a limited number of hours to play with each day. That means every time we say yes to someone, we’re saying no to someone or something else.
7. Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. The problem is, if you’re constantly saying yes to other people, putting their priorities ahead of your own, you won’t have the time or energy to care for yourself. And you’ll slowly become irritated, cynical, and miserable.
8. The most responsible thing you can do is care for yourself before you cater to others.
9. Burdened with a low self-image, we mistakenly believe our time is worth less than others’ time. We wrongly assume our goals and interests are inferior to other people’s goals and interests. We perceive our value to the world as somehow less than the value offered by those around us.
10. The good news is that saying no can actually improve your sense of self-worth. The more you do it, the more you’ll come to realize that your time, commitments, and aspirations are just as important as those of the requestor.
11. The problem is, capitulating to avoid conflict reinforces the idea that your feelings are less important than those of the other person. The reality is, they’re not less important.
12. I can’t commit to that right now because I’m focused on a high-priority project.” ;I’d like to help you, but I’m swamped with this project right now.” ;People are depending on me to finish this project. If I abandon it to help you, I’d be letting them down.” ; I don’t have time to help you right now. But check in with me after 4:00 p.m. Things will be less crazy then.” ; I don’t want to drive to the airport because I can’t stand freeway traffic.” I don’t want to drive to the airport because the ride, up and back, will take three hours.”